Wednesday, August 31, 2005

1 September, 2005
Enjoying your vacation, George?
Comrades:
Our country is now facing a disaster of unprecedented destruction. Brothers, Sisters, our very atmosphere is so full of pollutants as to form a chemical stew so toxic it destroys the ozone layer over 20 miles up. Citizens, we fry like a roadkill lizard, croaked under the tire of the speeding presidential limousine. Yes, like a roadkill lizard frying it's guts on the shoulder of a country highway while being pecked at by chickenhawks just outside of Crawford, Texas.
Workers! Students! Soldiers! Peasants! The dispatches out of the Crescent City and the gulf states get worse by the hour, and it has become clear to anyone with a ounce of working gray matter in their skulls would come to a similar conclusion, with obvious exception of George W> Bush. Unfortunately, it would seem that Dear Leader is too involved with his recreating and getting on with his life to let a minor detail such as running the country intrude upon such important pursuits. Unfortunately, as much as the Subkommander is prejudiced against our supposed sovereign King George, the disaster in the Mississippi Delta and along the Gulf coast is the result of actions that we as a society have committed. We have grown as a species, far beyond the safe carrying capacity of the planet. In our rush to engage completely in modern society, we gave little thought to what we consumed, or how much. Gas, food, medicine, jobs, modern economies...it all revolved around the unsustainable lifestyle that we have become accustomed. No, not accustomed. Guaranteed as OUR BIRTHRIGHT as Americans. Or so some of our citizens have been sadly led to believe. The Subkommander personally knows one grown man who would rather drive his pickup than walk 3 minutes to the local 7/11. This is what that individual (the Subkommanders brother) remarked when he made a scene about the then high price of $1.50/ gallon for petrol. The Subkommanders brother made the statement that "Cheap gas is my birthright as a 'merican!" The Subkommanders brother then spit some brown juice into an old Pepsi bottle full of a festering slime of saliva and tobacco ooze, and turned the Ted Nugent CD he was playing on his truck stereo up to 11. The Subkommanders brother, while basically a decent sort, is a hammerhead. The Subkommanders brother can sometimes be a real dick. However, this is also true of the Subkommander, which might cause a reasonable person to conclude that we share a congenital condition.
Sadly, the Subkommander knows that the Subkommanders brother represents a large majority of our fellow citizens worldview when it comes to fossil fuels consumption. Workers! Students! Soldiers! Peasants! We must rise up and stop this insane destruction of our planet. We must sieze control of the corporate and political organs of state power, and restore it to the hands of the people, in the spirit in which this democratic republic was formed. A love of personal liberty. Respect for the dignity and rights of others. That will be our sign and countersign during the long dark night that we must pass in order to wake to the dawn of a new day. We must rally to the aid of our fellow citizens, the vast army of proud Negroes and White trash of our beloved southland, and march forth, like the much heralded Massachusetts 54th, like Chairman Mao and the Long March. Like Santa Claus Versus the Martians. No. Not like Santa Claus Versus the Martians. That movie sucked...
Where was I?
We must rally to the aid of our countrymen. In a Commonwealth such as ours, we are responsible for the health and safety of our fellow citizens. We must not shirk our responsibility to history. Our duty, to those now in need, as well as to those who will come after us, to leave the planet a better place to live, to raise our families in the light of freedom and democracy, to protect the fragile ecology of our communities and our world. We must act NOW to save the planet, and ourselves. George W. Bush is a whacked out snake handling Baptist, speaking in toungues while holding a passel of rattlesnakes above his head as gesticulates wildely, running amok in the West Wing of the White House. And while Subkommander Dred wholeheartedly endorses the concept of religious freedom , handling venomous snakes while communing with one's maker seems a pretty crazy for the supposed leader of the free world. George W Bush is too far gone into a weird and unholy death trip of Revelations, complete with own 4 horsemen of the apocalypse. Would that be Court Jester Bolton, Cardinal Cheney, Minister of War Rumsfeld and Karl Rove, "The puppeteer"? No, we must save ourselves! Workers! Soldiers! Students! Peasants! Rally to the defense of your communities, your homes, your families. Long live the Republic!